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Inclusive, Multicultural Teaching & Parenting

Child psychology

After Charlottesville, what can parents and teachers do?

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A still from a video in which white supremacists march with tiki torches. Closed caption reads "Jews will not replace us!"
Still image from the Vice News/HBO episode “Charlottesville: Race and Terror.”

The “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, Virginia on August 12, as well as the torchlit march the evening before the rally, revealed what some might call the ugly underbelly of American culture—and what others deem its very foundation: a commitment to white supremacy and the exclusion, suppression, and hatred of others. Worse, by commenting that there was “violence on many sides” and that there were “very fine people on both sides,” the president of the United States suggested that the violence that erupted in Charlottesville represents a minor eruption in an otherwise measured debate marked by moral equivalency.

There are those who maintain the “Unite the Right” rally’s genuine mission was to preserve a statue of Robert E. Lee. Evidence from the two days of the rally suggests otherwise:

 

 

Some people might suggest “big tent” multiculturalism requires tolerance of opposing viewpoints. And indeed it does—unless those viewpoints call for the elevation of one group of people above all others and the annihilation of specific groups its adherents deem inferior.

If you watch that Vice News/HBO video embedded above, you’ll see that violence and a failure to see others as human—near the end of the video, neo-Nazi Christopher Cantwell refers to the protesters “animals”—were intentional features of, rather than coincidental to, the “Unite the Right” rally. White men, as well as some women, came well-armed, looking to intimidate, maim, and kill.

Taking action at home and school

What can parents and teachers do in the face of such violence and threats of violence, which are sure to erupt again as we face, as former Vice President Joe Biden puts it, “a battle for the soul of this nation”?

There are many steps you can take. This piece I wrote six years ago remains relevant. The two most important steps, I believe, are the first and the last: make sure young people feel safe, and ask “what should we do to help?”

If you’re a parent, GeekDad author Matt Blum suggests some structure for a conversation with your kids. Writing in the Los Angeles Times, Sonali Kohli shared advice from mental health experts and parents, including educating yourself first, using age-appropriate concepts, limiting media exposure, answering children’s questions, and ensuring children don’t feel disempowered. If you’re uncertain what an age-appropriate conversation might look like, this article from the National Education Association offers some guidelines.

If you’re a secondary teacher or postsecondary faculty looking for readings, or if you’re a concerned individual who wants to be better informed, there are already several versions of a Charlottesville syllabus available:

While we await the next very public flare-up of our long struggle with racism, find ways to incorporate (but not co-opt) the voices and ideas of people of color into the lives of the young people for whom you care or with whom you come into contact. You can, for example, fill your home, the school library, or your local public library, with books and media about (and ideally written by) people of color—particularly women of color, who often face the biggest obstacles to making their voices heard. You can ensure your child’s room is filled with toys and art that reflect your values. You can talk to your children’s teachers, principals, school boards, and superintendents about how to diversify the curriculum to better represent the experiences and amplify the voices of underrepresented people. (And guess what? I’ve been working for the past few months on a guide that helps white teachers do just that.)

This work pays off

It may feel like you’re trying to build an island by throwing pebbles into a rising sea, but if enough people in your children’s lives are on board, your children (or your students) will come to value diverse voices, recognize injustice, and speak up. We’ve been talking about these issues in age-appropriate ways with my son since he was in preschool, and while he may not yet have the vocabulary or maturity of an activist or scholar, today he’s a middle-schooler with a moral and ethical compass whose magnetic north is social justice.

Keep your eye on this blog for the multi-part guide—aimed at K-12 faculty, lower-division college faculty, and homeschooling parents, but of use to parents who want to encourage their children’s teachers to embrace a multicultural world—How to Diversify your Curriculum: Principles, Steps, and Resources. It’s a seven-part blog series loaded with resources and downloadable goodies for educators, and I can’t wait to share it with you.

How to talk to your kids about [whatever]

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A young Asian or Asian-American girl sits in front of an enlarged black-and-white photo of what appear to be Asian children living in poverty but reading books on a bench.
Photo by Tommy Wong, and used under a Creative Commons license

Our five-year-old son has become increasingly interested in what’s going on in the world, and since I have a habit of listening to NPR whenever we’re driving around, he hears a bit of news each morning and afternoon.  (We also have always watched The Colbert Report and Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show in front of him, so he’s already fairly savvy about the ways TV news shows, and particularly those on FOX, try to manipulate their viewers.)  In the past couple of weeks, we’ve heard news about a major earthquake, mass uprisings across the Middle East, labor protests and social unrest in the U.S., and Qaddafi firing on his own people.  We do shield the boy from many news stories, but as my husband works in the news industry, there’s often some kind of news lingering in the background—be it televised, on our computer screens, above the fold of the morning newspaper, or emanating from the radio.

My husband is far better at explaining humanity’s moral failings than I am–I’m better with the natural disasters because I can get all sciencey.  I’ve been learning a lot from the spouse, but I decided recently that I should also see what the experts are saying about talking to kids about disaster, turmoil, and tragedy.  Here’s what I found:

Do what you can to make kids feel safe.  Comfort all kids, but be aware that school-age kids might be wondering if the tragedy will happen to them, regardless of whether it’s a terrorist attack or a natural disaster.

Allow your children to talk about their fears.  Don’t dismiss their feelings, and make it clear that you’re listening to what they’re saying—and really hearing their concerns.

If your child is emotionally distraught, help him calm down.  Kids are better listeners when they’re calm.

Listen to your child, and respond to her concerns with phrases like “I understand” and “How can I help?”

Physically put your face on a level with your child’s and make eye contact.

When explaining natural disasters, simplify scientific explanations so they’re age-appropriate.

Be truthful but not too explicit.  You don’t need to provide a ton of detail to most kids, as it may only serve to inflame their imaginations in unproductive ways.

Explain that disasters like the one your child is worried about are rare in your city/state/country.

Repeat your message for preschoolers and other young children.  If you think it’s appropriate, have them repeat the main message back to you.  (For example, you might ask, “Are we safe?” and encourage your child to say aloud, “We’re safe.”)

Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know.” (If appropriate, follow up with “. . .but I’ll find out.”)

Take steps to help remediate the tragedy or disaster, even if it’s remote from you geographically or culturally.  Give your child space to respond; you might ask elementary-age or older kids “What should we do to help?”  (Depending on the disaster, possibilities might include assembling hygiene kits, donating to reputable charities, or conducting a canned food drive.)

Some of these tips may seem like common sense, but the list has reminded me of several tactics I already know but don’t employ frequently enough.

Not surprisingly, most of these tips could be used to open communication with your child about racism, mental illness, homophobia, poverty, pollution, and all manner of social ills.

Want more?  I recommend Children Now’s resource page on Talking with Kids About Tough Issues.  Topics include:

Feel free to share your own tips in the comments.